Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Back to the Freakin' Basics!!!

I know, I know! It has been way too long since our last post. Sorry to let you all down. However, we have been busy brewing but I just haven't had the time to document our excellent adventures so, I though I would come back with a Big Brewing Bang of "The Kind"! Last Saturday we brewed another batch of our Douche Bag American Wheat. All of that went very well but, it is what we did in our idle time that was totally hilarious! After nearly 20 years of brewing beer I never thought I would go back to brewing with malt extract. However, a friend of mine gave us a Coopers Home Brew Beer Kit to mess around with. How funny! I thought it would be fun to go back to the basics of home brewing and make this kit as if I had never brewed beer before. Do everything just like the instructions tells you to do. and act like you know nothing about brewing. Go back to the days of brewing small batches on the stove top with nothing but the kit and the instruction manual. So we made this beer while we were mashing the Douche Bag Wheat and it will surprise you what happened.

This brew session was funny as hell. The kit came with a plastic fermentor, 30 plastic bottles and caps, a plastic spoon, a hydrometer, a bottle filling tube, a can of pre-hopped malt extract (a lager they claim), a 1k box of corn sugar, a bag of "priming lollies", an instructional DVD, and all of the other goofy little things required to make your very first batch of beer. We had a blast making this thing. I suggest all of you seasoned brewers out there try making a batch of extract beer. Not just that but, do it like we did here. No boil! No Hop additions! Just mix, stir then pitch the yeast! He He!!!

As you may recall, you have to heat up the syrup so it will pour out of the can. Here we are warming the syrup. It was called a lager but the instructions said to ferment it at room temp. How weird is that? Room temperature lagering. That's sort of a contradiction in terms or an oxymoron at best. Right?

Funny thing is, this kit didn't even require us to boil the wort. All we had to do was pour 2 liters of boiling water into the fermentor, add the pre-hopped malt extract, add the 1k box of corn sugar, and then top it up to 23 liters with cold tap water.

Here we go! In with the pre-hopped malt extract...

Then... In with the corn sugar...

After topping up with cold tap water... It was in with the yeast...

However, we did stray a bit from the instructions on the DVD that came with the kit. We hydrated the yeast before we pitched it. Any brewer with a brain would do that. Otherwise, we followed the instructions to a tee. And, that's it! It was like making a 6 gallon batch of Kool-Aid!! No boil! No hop additions! No nothing! This goes totally against the grain of all experienced brewers but, it seemed to work. It was at that moment that I got a freaky idea! In the middle of this process I came up with the insane idea of doing the same thing but on a 15 or 20 gallon scale. I mean... Why not?! How cool is that?! It was funny as hell when I thought of this. You just had to be there. I am seriously going to do the same damn thing but on a larger scale. No boil. No hop additions. Just mix and pitch! I can't wait to taste this beer. If it turns out good, to hell with all of this mashing grain and boiling bull shit! He He!!! I'm kidding. That will never happen. But, I do want to keep experimenting with this method. Might as well. As long as this batch turns out good, why not? I am sure this beer will taste OK but, it ain't gonna be as good as "The Kind" of beer that the Freak Brothers are normally brewin'! It just ain't "The Kind"! E took some vids of me at the moment I came up with this brilliant idea. Too damn funny. I think you will all enjoy our bizarre outtakes and I hope you all try going back to the Freakin' Basics.

E wanted to film me in the midst of my brilliant thought but, it was just too damn funny!

I finally got it right on the second take but, I'm tellin' ya, it was too damn funny! You had to be there.

Brew on and Freak Out!!!